Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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