O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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