Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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