good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
