i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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