dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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