I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
