...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
