Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
