READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
