Where is the hickey?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
