Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
