Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Maybe he injected his testicle?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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