Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm at about main and main street
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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