You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
