sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
