I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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