I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
