Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
