I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Randomize
