I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
