Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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