I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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