it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
