Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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