you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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