Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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