Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
