Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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