I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
