i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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