If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
