Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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