there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
