I got chris browned last night
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
