lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
