Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
