the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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