So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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