ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
