i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm bleeding and have questions
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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