I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
