I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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