at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
this boner is exhausting
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
