Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
