these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My day in three words: secret purse cake
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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