cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
