Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
