I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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