hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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